COUNSELING ADULTS
Typically, we use the term "adult" to refer to three distinct ages in our lives: early adulthood, middle age, and old age. The tasks and challenges facing each of these ages are distinct — and so are the reasons you may seek counseling.
Early Adulthood
If you are 20 to 35, you face a unique developmental challenge. You must learn to form intimate relationships, with both friends and lovers. Your ability to do so is based largely on how well you have resolved the problems that have come your way in earlier stages of life. For instance, you may find it hard to establish intimate relationships if you haven't developed trust or a sense of identity. People who have difficulty with this key task may feel distance from those in their life, feel alone, have difficulty with commitment, or feel that they cannot depend on others.
Middle Age
In 21st Century America, we generally think of middle age as between 35 to 60 — although many are living vibrant "middle years" into their 70s. The central conflict in this stage of our lives is between "generativity" and "stagnation." We either feel that we have made a contribution to the next generation — or we tend to feel a sense of purposelessness. In middle age, we experience the first symptoms of physical decline: less muscular strength, a drop in reaction time, duller senses, and a general sense that we are no longer in "good shape" (decline in cardiac output). Women will experience menopause. Men may notice changes in sexual performance. Most men and women remain capable of sexual satisfaction after middle age.
If you are entering middle age you may seek counseling for many reasons. Many couples face changes in their relationships as their children approach adulthood. Many individuals start exciting new careers — and experience new stresses and strains — as they face the "empty nest syndrome." Many will entertain their first serious thoughts of mortality as they deal with their parents' aging or death. And with increasing free time, you may find yourself reconsidering painful episodes from your childhood or adolescence that continue to hamper your functioning.
Old Age
Traditionally, "old age" refers to those over 60 years — although this is changing rapidly with the advances in medicine and healthy living. During old age, people experience a conflict between integrity vs. despair. In other words, when you reflect on your life, you may either feel a sense of accomplishment or failure.
Most people will be aware of a continuing physical decline in muscular strength, reaction time, stamina, hearing, distance perception, and the sense of smell. You may also face life-threatening diseases such as cancer and pneumonia due to a weakened immune system.
Besides serious health issues, you may wrestle with a number of therapeutic issues. Relationships with adult children may change. You may face the death or illness of a spouse or other loved one. You may find yourself compelled to review your life — and experience both satisfaction and regret. You may experience a spiritual crisis.
If you or a loved one is struggling with adult concerns, please consider contacting me for office, phone, or internet counseling. A safe, nonjudgmental relationship with a therapist who listens with compassion can make all the difference as you work through difficulties. Attentive listening and mutual respect are the cornerstones of my practice. Together we will find practical solutions for the challenges you face.
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