FAMILY COUNSELING

"Family therapy," or "family systems therapy," works with families to nurture change and development. As developed by Murray Bowen, it sees the family as more than a collection of individuals, but as a system with rules and roles for each member. It emphasizes family relationships as central to good psychological health.

As your therapist, I will focus on patterns of how you interact with each other instead of trying to find the "causes" of problems. That way we can avoid unfortunate "blaming" that can put individuals on the defensive and block growth.

I've used family therapy effectively when families, and/or individuals in those families, experience or suffer:

• serious psychological disorders (e.g. schizophrenia, addictions and eating disorders);
• interactional and transitional crises in a family's life cycle (e.g. divorce);
• as a support of other psychotherapies and medication.

Family therapy is really a way of thinking for me rather than about how many people sit in the room with the therapist. I'm a relational therapist. I'm interested in what goes on between people rather than in people.

The "client" is the family — not the individuals. A family therapist doesn't focus on one members as the "problem" and try to fix her or him. The problems that families face are always a product of the "system" they create together. In fact, the medical model — in which one person is the "identified patient" who needs to be fixed — breaks down completely in couples and family work. All psychological problems, and all psychological changes, involve both individual symptoms (behavior, emotions, conflicts, thought processes) and changes in interpersonal relationships.

As your therapist, I will help you and your family identify the conflict issues in your relationships, help you discover how to communicate more effectively, listen more closely, develop "fair-fighting rules" that allow you to discuss issues without hurt feelings, and guide you through the process of negotiating compromises that will make living together more comfortable, graceful, and enjoyable. If you and your family are willing to consider making changes in their relationships and in the behavior of each member, I believe you can experience satisfaction in your relationships.

I make no judgments about the "best" form your family "should" take. The great thing about being independent individuals in a free society is that we can pick any shape for our life that we want — provided we're not harming anybody else. Some families live together — some maintain two or more households. I'm confident based on my years working with families of all shapes and sizes that, working together, we can find a shape for your family that will work for all parties.

If you are "stuck" in your relationship, experiencing problems that you aren't making progress on despite your best efforts, I hope you will consider contacting me. I have no doubt you can experience a happier, more fulfilled life.