RELAXATION THERAPY

Are you over stressed? Take a glance at Stress Warning Signs. Or you might want to take this standardized test for life events stress.

With all the pressures of modern life, it can be hard to take care of ourselves. But it may be the most important job you have. After all, if you aren't at your best, how can you give your best to your family, friends, or job?

Many of my clients are religious about working out at the gym three times a week. But few of them do what I like to call a "work-in." By "work-in" I mean a conscious, regularly scheduled relaxation activity. I recommend 20 or 30 minutes a day of relaxation, but many clients report feeling a difference even when they can only relax two or three times a week.

You can use almost any activity you enjoy as a "work-in." The key is not so much what you do, but how you feel. If you feel easier in your body and mind after your chosen activity, then you've successfully engaged your "Relaxation Response" and achieved the goal of any good work-in.

Below are some suggestions that my clients have found successful. I'm sure you will think of more.

• Make time for yourself. Grabbing just 5 minutes alone, when you can close your eyes and focus on yourself can help you feel better. You always have time for this. Really. Even at work.
• Do something nice for your body. Try taking a hot bath. Get a massage. Ask your loved one for a hug. Do some stretching.
• Make time for a hobby. Make a model. Do needlework. Work on some wood in your shop. Focusing lightly on something you enjoy is sure to relax your mind.
• Enjoy the outdoors. Go for a walk in the woods. Go fishing. Go for a swim. The possibilities are endless.
• Play music. With the iPod and Internet music downloading, there is more music available to us than any time in history. Why not schedule a regular appointment with yourself to enjoy some tunes?
• Pray. Many people report that praying not only uplifts their soul but eases their body as well. Consider praying silently, with eyes closed. If your tradition includes "repetitive prayer" — repeating the same prayer over and over — it can become a form of meditation. Some people pray the rosary, repeat the Our Father, say the Serenity Prayer, repeat a mantra — whatever feels comfortable.
• Learn to meditate. There are many forms of meditation that are described for free on the Internet. Here is a simple deep breathing technique you can try at home. Here are instructions for a progressive relaxation exercise. Try Googling "learn to meditate for free for others." I have taught various forms of meditation for 30 years. I am pleased to teach simple forms of the Relaxation Response to my clients in my office.
• Learn yoga. Most communities have at least one yoga teacher. This can be a fun, cheap, and sociable way to relax.
• Find some comfort. Why not call a friend? Snuggle up in bed? Make something warm to drink? Write in a journal? Eat some comfort food? Indulge in some aromatherapy? (Cinnamon, vanilla, lavender, and lilacs are especially comforting.)
• Escape — right at home! We all need a dash of fantasy in our lives. Curl up with a good book, movie, or magazine.
• Be a kid. Being playful and silly can help us feel more light-hearted. Do something you loved to do as a kid. This is especially effective if you have an actual kid to play with! Blow some soap bubbles, throw a ball, bake cookies, play with your dog, rollerblade down the sidewalk, or swing on the swings.
• Take a mental health day. Doesn't everyone need to play hooky once in awhile? Taking an unscheduled day off from work can be more restful than a real vacation.

The key to a work-in is making an appointment with yourself to do something you enjoy — and then keep the appointment! If you have to, tell yourself it's your job to relax regularly. But as a suggestion avoid video games, TV, or too much Internet. These tend to key up our minds without giving true relaxation to our bodies.

In my psychotherapeutic practice, I often give relaxation work-ins as homework for my anxious clients. If you are having trouble setting aside time to relax, consider contacting me. Together I'm sure we can brainstorm ways for you to get the relaxation you need.